I let my husband convince me that I would enjoy this career change. That I love making a difference so this was perfect. I do love making a difference. But the healthcare field is not something I wanted to be involved in. I didn't enjoy learning about it. I didn't enjoy school. I didn't enjoy being in fieldwork. And I don't enjoy working in it.
It's so much work. It doesn't have to be a lot of physical work (if I could even find a job somewhere else) but it is ALWAYS a TON of mental work. It's exhausting.
Providing therapy in a skilled nursing facility is a double edged sword. Yes, it feels good knowing I helped someone return home or learn to adapt to their new normal. But in geriatrics I can't get reprieve from facing my own mortality. The smells and pure unhygienic people who just want me to let them die and go away is overwhelming. They don't want to do therapy. They want me to let them rest and die. I want them to rest and be pain free. If they've lived 85 years and are ready to go ... why should I keep them here against their will?