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I'm fine with not talking to you; but please, don't tell me you'll be on to talk and then leave me hanging. Just let me know you'll be busy.
I don't want to be here staring at a screen waiting because I don't want to miss you if you do show up, it's totally killing me

Why do you hate me so much? You're the one who considered me as a rebound and now you're back with her, and you're super happy. Then why are you so hell bent on affecting my life? I mean, haven't you done enough damage already? You promised me something that I really wanted - a stable relationship. And then you decided that I wouldn't be hurt if you broke up with me because I'm "cool". I'm not "cool" if you think that being "cool" meant not having any feelings at all. I know ... read more

I pity you
i despise you
i love you
i hate you
i cant stand to see you happy when i feel this way
why are you happy when im not
why aren't you comforting me like you used to
why aren't you even trying to at least communicate with me
why aren't you acting like the friend you claim to be
the one i remember
the friend i remember was always there for me, making me feel special, making me feel like i have a purpose
stop patronising me
stop teasing me
stop ignoring me
stop trying t... read more

What if Im actually the dumbest person on earth? what if all this time Ive just been pitied by peers and for self esteem purposes my teachers give me good marks? What if Im actually so stupid and one day someones going to say to me youre actually severely mentally handicapped to the point that youve retained nothing youre 65 years old with the mentality of a 2 year old at best?

What if Im actually super ugly? like disgusting to the point that people struggle to stand beside ... read more

One of my friends is moving to New Zealand.
Ever since I made another very close friend, he has started becoming angry.
It isn't fair for me to get hurt because I ask him to stop swearing.
What else?
I was talking to another friend of mine and he slams my face into the dirt, then he starts crying when I ignore him because of the previous incident.
It's so unfair!
Everyone thinks he's perfect when he is horrible to me, yet if I did that I would get berated!

I hate how weak I am, I know I have to stop feeling sorry for my self but then my anxiety kicks in and I start to see everything in a bad light again, and when I get the motivation to be happy again, I dont feel genuine, I try to control everything and everyone because things arent going my way and when I realise this I breakdown, I dont like talking about it to anyone because I know that everyone is going through something so I dont want pity, I dont want to be a burden, I w... read more

Sometimes, when my mind is too idle, I start thinking about past events, future goals, yesterday's argument, anything that may be a good or bad memory in some way and it starts to halt my original plans for that moment. I begin to be the victim of my own mind, thinking about possibilities and different endings to many things that I have no control over. Then I finally wake up and think "Wait, how much of this actually even matters? None of it? That is what I thought." and I c... read more

CravING some real intimacy. Intimate connection with someone who doesn't pretend to be wonderful, but IS! Sex would be great too!

I miss meaningful conversations, and a lil hOT flirtations. I miss those days. Haven't felt that since my 2nd date with the husband. Now we're married... those efforts are long gone. Not all his fault. I tolerated it. I was forgivubg, and flexible. Perhaps too flexible.

But that counter + Wil tho!

How annoying is it when you feel anxious and scared all the time and you know if you continue feeling and acting this way people will take advantage of you and thats life, you want people to understand and you want everything to go your way but you also know its stupid to think like that, its a constant inner battle that will not change unless you change your thinking, but you also feel helpless and you want to tell someone and want them to understand but at the end of the da... read more

I think I made a mistake marrying the guy am with... dirty and doesn't clean up after himself, rarely say sorry, and when he does, he always have this rebuttal that let's you know it's your fault not his... WTF?!!! He is also rude, inconsistent, and gnikcuf rude! Am doing my best to make things work by thinking bout the positive. But am at an age where I appreciate a clean home, basic proper manner would also work, oh and actually have follow through. Gaaaah!

I must look out... read more

I think I'm developing two crushes at once. A boy in my school and an older man online...what is wrong with me...I'm crying with love to one and im crying for myself because what is wrong with me

Wth is happening to me, I have become anxious and scared and its so stupid because its not that deep, feeling this way and trying not to isolate my self has made me become someone who doesnt even pick up on anything funny and its like I'm picking out on negative things in conversations and I dont realise it until its too late because in that moment I'm proud that I'm actually talking to people. Who am I

Like putty in my hands. Playing right into my sweet little plan. Doing exactly what I want you to. Evil laughter!

My life sucks so I need to enjoy this brief, unimportant moment while it lasts. More evil laughter!

Some weird things about myself. I hate myself for being all these, but these are my innate feelings. I don't know how to even rationalize this.

- I hate responsible, efficient people. (Yes, you read that right.) I have this classmate who does their work really early and on time. (They, because I don't want to be too specific, lest they find out I rant my heart out here.) They were an honors student back in high school, so of course it's natural. But for some reason, I hate t... read more

Life is so hard right now, but i love it so much.

Ever since I started a new job, I feel like I don't know who I am anymore, its like I want everyone to like me but I dont feel like my genuine self, I dont know how to interact with these new people, I dont know whats socially right or wrong in their eyes, I feel like I've started school again and I'm the new girl and everyone else already knows each other. I dont want to change who I am but it seems like in order to be nice , I have to play this role.

I want to claw out my heart with my bare hands.

I miss you so much. U r so far away. I dunno whether u still have feelings for me. I'm afraid to tell u I miss and love u. I'm afraid of getting hurt. I know we can't be together in the end. I hope god will open ur heart.

I don't love her.

I'm so tired. I just want to sleep and never wake up. No one would miss me. I have two people in my life, my best friend and my girlfriend, I give it about a week after I do it and they'll probably be over me.